You’ve likely heard the phrase before, perhaps even from me, “feel it to heal it.” While it is true that healing often comes from actively being with our emotional and somatic experiences; this concept is often misunderstood and misapplied.
In reality, without the proper context - feeling our emotions, or somatic experiences, can be detrimental to our wellbeing. The therapeutic term for this is called “being flooded,” or “flooding” (think of emotional waves overtaking you). We have all experienced flooding before. Perhaps upon hearing the news of a loved one's death, after a devastating breakup or witnessing a tragedy like your home burning down. Flooding occurs when you become so overcome by your emotions, experiences or distressing somatic sensations, that you lose connection to your rational mind, and find yourself overwhelmed, out of control and beyond your capacity to cope. Some have called this experience “flipping your lid.” You can think of flooding as what happens when you shake a pop can and untwist its lid fast and fully. A rapid, extreme and uncontrollable release of energy-sticky liquid overflowing everywhere! Being flooded does not result in emotional resolution, trauma re-negotiation or release-rather it is frightening and can be traumatizing or re-traumatizing.
Flooding can look different for everyone and some are more prone to it than others (trauma survivors are more prone to flooding). A panic attack is an example of being flooded. For some, flooding may result in more externally visible behaviors such sobbing, rapid/gasping breaths, self-injury or aggression, while for others it may be only obvious to the person experiencing it (e.g., tunnel vision, changes in sound perception, or nausea). Some may fawn, collapse, faint or freeze when flooded. It is important to understand that just because someone appears calm, does not mean they may not be flooded by their experience.
Healing through connecting to emotions and somatic sensations can only come when one feels safe, in control and is a compassionate witness to their own experience. Their full brain must be “online,” and not hijacked by the emotional brain systems. It may not be comfortable or preferred to sit with their discomfort, but one is able to be present with their experience/memory and move through it. Many people require support from a trusted and safe person (e.g., a loved one or therapist) to help facilitate this safe exploration.
Titration
In order to avoid flooding and traumatization, and support safe exploration, therapists use the concept of titration. Titration refers to the practice of tracking the client's system to ensure that while they connect to their distress that they do so only in amounts that is manageable to their system, and does not trigger them into fight-flight-freeze or fawn. The goal is to experience manageable levels of distress at a time so they can successfully discharge or release rather than relive the event in its terror or become flooded while experiencing deeply distressing material (not all distress is traumatic). In the analogy of the pop bottle, rather than twisting the cap off in one swift movement, the cap is slowly twisted so levels of air are released in a way that produces discharge without the messy overflow.
What can I do for myself, or loved ones, when we are flooded?
Therapy can be a great resource to find support in addressing difficult experiences and emotions in safe ways and therapists have many different ways to facilitate titration. But there are many practices you can do on your own, or with loved ones, to support regaining a sense of safety when you become flooded. Here are some examples:
Plan Ahead. If you know you are prone to flooding, and especially if you find yourself susceptible to urges like self-harm, substance use or suicide, create a safety plan ahead of time to minimize risk when flooding does occur.
Seek Safety and Remove Dangers. As much as possible (while understanding that flooding impairs our ability to think rationally and behave as we would like) if you find yourself flooded try to remove yourself from danger and seek a safe environment. This may mean removing yourself from an environment, moving items that pose a risk for your safety (medications, sharps etc.) or calling an emergency support line/emergency services. Give yourself self compassion if and when this is not possible.
Engage in Grounding Exercises. Working backward from 5, use your senses to list things you notice around you. Go slowly and take every detail in. You might start by listing: 5 things you see; 4 things you touch; 3 things you can hear from where you’re sitting; 2 things you can smell; 1 thing you can taste. Make an effort to notice the little things you might not always pay attention to, such as the color of the flecks in the carpet or the hum of your computer.
Engage in a Breathing Exercise. Consider deep breathing or box breathing. Focus on making your exhales longer than your inhalations. Exhalation stimulates the parasympathetic system which acts as a brake on your sympathetic system and results in relaxation.
Refocus your senses. Sensory information, and somatic sensations can contribute to feeling flooded. Refocus our attention on experiences that are neutral or bring you pleasure. Listen to music. Splash your face with water. Drink a cold drink or warm drink. Eat comfort food. Wrap a soft or weighted blanket over yourself.
Distract. When we are flooded it is helpful to distract from our overwhelming experience. Remember, feeling to heal is only productive and safe when it is experienced in manageable amounts. There is no productivity or reason to sit in prolonged anguish. Engage in an activity that can distract you like watching TV, exercising or calling a friend.
Practice self compassion. Piling shame on ourselves when we experience overwhelming distress, or do not act as we had hoped in a situation not only does not help resolve a situation, but it only amplifies our suffering. Self compassion involves recognizing it is ok to be imperfect, that this is a common human trait and we are not alone in our suffering. Self-compassion has been linked to better psychological well-being and health outcomes, including emotional resilience in the face of negative events.
Seek Connection. Humans are wired for connection with others. Meaningful connection, where we are seen, accepted and celebrated is crucial to our wellbeing and helps overcome challenges. Connection can be found with friends, family, colleagues, strangers, pets, nature, the Divine and more.
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